Can't Touch This

A couple days ago, I was riding the bus on my way to work. Minding my own business, in a fairly crowded bus, hanging on for dear life, overall...a normal ride to work.

Out of what seemed to me to be nowhere, this woman comes up to my stomach, not me, my stomach, grabs it and goes "OOHHHH - how far along are we?" Never engages with my face, and does NOT stop stroking my belly (Did I mention I'm pregnant? I am, 26 weeks, so I AM showing, but STILL). I was in such shock that I couldn't think of what to do or say. Normally, I'm one for coming up with quick retorts, but I just couldn't. I was frozen. She was cupping my stomach on London's public transportation, and talking to the baby, asking questions. This lady was probably in her mid-thirties, didn't look crazy, in fact, I'm sure I've seen her on the bus before.

Finally we must have neared her stop, as she let go, and just walked away. No 'Thanks for letting me grope your belly" or "Good luck with the pregnancy". Nothing. And I could say nothing in return.

Of course, as I got off the bus and walked to work, I couldn't help but think of all the things I should have done and should have said.

So let this be a warning to the lady. Next time you grab my stomach (really the next time anybody does this) I'm going to grab yours. Just because mine sticks out a little bit more, doesn't give you the right to treat it like public property. In fact, I just may be a little MORE uncomfortable than you, so get the hell off. Let's see how other people like when I touch their body without permission.

What I'm starting to learn about pregnancy, is it turns people into idiots. Not pregnancy brain, I'm not referring to my potential forgetfulness, but other people who are not 'afflicted' by anything other than seeing you pregnant. They stop talking to your face. They ask questions that are totally inappropriate; "Was this a planned pregnancy?" "Are you and your husband happy about this?" "Finally, you aren't getting any younger!" And my absolute favorite which is said by pretty much every man I work with: "Well I'm sure you'll love being a mum, you work so hard, and now you can just take some time off, you may never want to come back to work!" And there is no professional comeback to that type of discrimination. And discrimination all of the above is. You can ask me how I'm feeling (because my baby and I are two separate entities, while she lives in me right now, she definitely has a mind of her own, trust me.), I may tell you the truth, but you probably don't really want to know. You can ask if it's a boy or girl, I'm not shy, you can ask fairly frank questions, but asking me in a meeting if I need to use the toilet before we start is not okay, and not really funny. Yes, I'm going on maternity leave, it's legally required in this country. That doesn't mean that I don't want to work now, or that I will stop thinking about work, you don't know me, and I have no idea what I'll do. But I'm one of those "really strange" women, that actually really likes to work, and I take pride in my job, so stop being a jerk.

Wow, rant over. Overall the message I want to leave you with, is from the great MC Hammer..."You can't touch this"